Do you "Morning Journal"? You know, Artist and Writer of The Artist's Way, Julia Cameron's number one must for all Creatives? Since having read that book one year ago, I have been scribbling out my thoughts and feelings on 3 pages of long hand writing in spiral notebooks. Where does one even store the accumulation of these? I'm running out of room.
So, my point. While journaling this morning, I recalled a public promise I made to myself and to my friends and followers on Instagram two years ago. The promise being that on my 40th birthday, I will have a huge backyard soirée with DJ, bartender, and fancy food truck (keeping it classy), and have displayed my large collection of about 7 to 8 paintings, scattered in the backyard in front of my brand new renovated garage turned Art Studio. I wrote out the Manifesto two years ago. I told every single person I know, including a couple trainers from my Gym (retrospective cringe/eyeroll). I picked out the dress I would wear, the hair I would have, the neighbor gal that I would hire to help take orders of smaller pieces of my Art and prints I would have available. I explained to my husband about wanting string lights criss crossing in the backyard (he's a lighting guy, so this would be no big deal.) I told friends to save the date.
The date being June 4, 2022. I turn 40 on May 31st. Umm...this is 7 weeks away. Ask me what I have planned already.
One painting and a half for this collection.
A garage (NOT a studio) filled to the brim with crap.
Having worked with a life coach two years ago and reading book after book, manifesting meme after manifesting meme, I wholeheartedly believed that I could. For the first time in an extremely long time in my adult life, I had decided to DREAM HUGE, because that's all that it took, right??
At first glance, this seems like pretty negative thinking. What I did NOT take into account was my growth. I had fast forwarded to a vision two years in advance and believed that my trajectory would naturally take me there and it would only take 2 years! No big deal. We can never ever predict what happens in 2 years. Now, true.....a pandemic happened. I would be remiss if I didn't mention that this vision of mine came about in early pandemic. The world was suffering and yet I had the gall to believe that in 2 years, I'd have this huge 40th birthday party Art show. Wow.
Growth cannot be rushed. I had not anticipated the unique challenges, exciting opportunities, growth experiences, and enlightening struggles along the way. If all I did was focus and pour energy into planning this event, it would have been all wrong. I would have said "NO" to too many incredible opportunities. This is something I just didn't consider during my "Dream Big Vision". You just can't rush good Art, creativity, or the process of growth.
All of this dawned on me, out of nowhere, while journaling this morning. I typed "Growth cannot be rushed" in my Notes app on my iPhone this morning to inspire this blog post. Don't know if you've noticed, but my last blog post was in September 2020! Ideally, I'd love to keep this going consistently. I believe the Morning Journaling with its promise to enlighten and strengthen my intuition will help with this.