Updated: Jul 5
Too often, we experience a state of imbalance. We may work hard on keeping our family and home life somewhat stable, but our bodies and minds suffer because we are not nurturing ourselves with play time, creativity, or exercise. We feel the imbalance, the disconnect, the irritation and though we are smart enough to discern the cause, we don't do much to change it. That's because we tend to fall victim to our own Egos. The Ego keeps us safe, small, and fearful. If I spend hours and hours painting the things I want to paint (soul's work/joy) I am inevitably neglecting my family, home chores, and working out. Therefor, I must stay content with the 2 to maaaayabe 3 hours of painting I do every other day, meanwhile envy all the Artists I follow who keep churning out amazing paintings and selling them consistently!!
And perhaps you, my Artist Friend.
Focus doesn't come naturally to me. Does it, for you? I can sometimes stay focused if I'm home alone, without anywhere to be for a few hours, listening to music or a podcast I can zone out to, have been fed, my area has been somewhat picked up, and my body feels comfortable. All these requirements!! You know how some people will tease themselves by claiming to have "ADD" just because they can't seem to focus on one thing? It's annoying but also tempting to claim the same when wanting to casually justify your lack of attention to one thing. What is it called when you have multiple attentions? Like, you want to sand down and spray paint that nightstand you picked up in front of a neighbors sidewalk a year ago....AND.....you want to start a no-rush piece a client has asked for......AND......you want to finish that one large painting in your collection that you started a few months ago......AND......you want to paint a Cockatoo on this abstract painting you did last year and have been talking about it on Instagram? And because you can't choose which to do, and it feels like all those things have been somewhat started already, you find yourself "eenie meenie minee mo-ing", pointing to several of the aforementioned projects in your studio. It's not ADD. I do not have any attention deficit disorder and I won't casually pretend like I do. It's just indecision, mixed with ambition, folded in with a lack of focus.
The "mo" landed on the client's project, as it probably should have. Even though he is a family member and said "no rush!!" But still. I have all of these things listed on this app I downloaded called ToDoist, and it's also written above my desk on a dry erase board. It's incredibly satisfying to mark them done.
One year ago, last late May, I had done an experimental abstract piece playing with molding texture medium, gold markers, and dripping paint. The result was pretty cool. Not amazing. Not horrible. Just cool. I liked my use of color and how the strokes and drips created a lot of movement in the piece. I titled it "A Frenetic Self Exploration." It was for sale, all year, on Etsy only. It lived on my hallway wall. I passed by it every single day on my way to the bathroom and completely ignored it's existence. One day, just a couple of weeks ago, I had this out of the blue creative pull (these are THE BEST) to paint this pinkish/purplish/blueish Starling from a photo I had saved on my phone awhile ago. I randomly decided it might look good on "A Frenetic Self Exploration". I just pictured that bird-less abstract painting thinking "she notices me? she SEES me??"
Within about 2 days, I spray painted a part of it black to signify this abyss or portal if you will, and then the colorful bird. There was flow. There was inspiration. It felt natural. It came out AMAZING. And it sold the very next day after I posted it. I called it "A Starling Exploration" and it's currently at the printer being professionally photographed for Fine Art Prints.
One year ago TODAY, I finished painting another, smaller, abstract piece titled "Bird Chatter". My brain does NOT keep track of the dates of most of my paintings. I barely know what time of year some of them were painted, other than "Young Activists" because I had started that right after George Floyd was murdered in early June of 2020. "Bird Chatter" was inspired by all the cute noisy chirping from the birds outside our bedroom window as I would do my Morning Pages. I listened to them. The variety of birds singing, chirping, squawking in different pitches and rhythms. Then I painted the sounds in greens, purples, whites, and copper. It lived on my bathroom wall because it matched the colors of my bathroom. Even before "A Starling Exploration" sold, I knew I would do a mini collection with these other two abstract paintings I have, "Bird Chatter" being one of them. I knew, it was next. I had no idea if these would sell or not, I just knew I was feeling inspired to explore this avenue. I started planning the next one immediately after I sold "A Starling Exploration" by uploading a photo of "Bird Chatter" into Photoshop and sticking a stark white Cockatoo on another black abyss. I'm happy with how it looks and plan to start in the next couple of days.
Ah, but lo and behold, it's Thursday today and I must post a throwback as I am often want to do, and so I check the Photos on my phone to one year ago......and on June 9, 2021, I completed the painting, "Bird Chatter". This is not planned. This is (try not to roll your eyes too far back), creative cosmic alignment.
I could have done that painting in August 2021 for all I remember. It's as if my creative brain, which lives separate from my normal everyday brain stores the information and subtly sends me messages in the form of random inspiration. But why does it even matter that I am revisiting a painting exactly one year later? What difference does it make? None at all. It's just cool, and I'm into cool shit.
You have this too. We all do. How do you harness it? Well...it's actually true what they say about meditation, journaling, and taking care of yourself. You become more open to messages from your intuition. In my case, my "intuition" is my "Creative Brain." It's useful ALWAYS but when you're out of alignment, it feels like a damn life saver.
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