Anybody else feel like they're dragging? Perhaps we can blame it on the holidays, recent drop in temperature, or just the overall anxieties of life (i.e. Luke interrupting my train of thought just right now to show me an apple slice and ask "is this beautiful?" ). Go away, cute child. I don't know what you're asking and I'm blogging right now.
I have become SLOW AF but in a world where I'm constantly rushing, trying to get as much done as possible and somehow feeling like I haven't accomplished shit. We are on Day 3 of a 4 day Thanksgiving break/weekend and without making too many commitments, I have put in only 2 hours of painting on the commissioned piece I started 2 months ago. My therapist keeps reminding me to be patient with myself and when the time is right, I will be called to work on it.
CONFESSION: My self judging has become SO exhausting.
Truth be told, I have to literally force myself to stop what I'm doing, get into the artistic mindset, and begrudgingly mix some acrylic paints in my dirty dirty dirty palette, get frustrated because I can't achieve the color I want, like, right away and then work through THAT for a minute. Then all is fine! A reminder....I am reproducing another artist's painting and I'm finding myself too focused on getting every single minor detail to be exactly like the original. Then I take a deep breath and tell myself to let that go because I can get too wrapped up on the tiniest details, therefor lengthening the time of completing the project. I'm more than half way done though! I'm feeling good about it and more motivated to putting in another hour today.
I did complete another celebrity portrait though last week! When we watched Netflix' "Fleabag" a few months back, we were obsessed! So sad that there are only 2 seasons because it left quite an impression on us and most people we know who also indulged. During the Emmy's, I fell even more in love with the lead actress/writer/creator, Phoebe Waller-Bridge. My Dad who was the one who suggested she become the subject of my next sketch had introduced us to the show. I chose her iconic visage with the black mascara tears over the other iconic expressions of her funny awkward glances at the camera (you know the ones if you've watched the show). The crying image felt more personal to me as October was the month of bathtub filled tears, often black from non-waterproof mascara.
She took quite a long time to finish, but then again, so did my Mick Jagger sketch. I took many breaks and every time I thought I was almost done, I would take a photo from my phone and look at the photo and feel so defeated. It NEVER looked right. Still doesn't but I chose to move on. I don't feel like I abandoned the sketch, but gave it all I had. It's not as good as Mick Jagger or RBG, thats for certain.
If you have been gracious enough to be reading my ranting, which I am utterly grateful for and not gonna lie, surprised, I would love to hear your ideas on other dynamic famous faces I could be sketching in the future. Thank you!
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